Positive/Negative Space: Looking at it in a new Light

Sometimes it is hard for me to see what is right in front of me. Let me explain…

I was taking a scenic drive home tonight. I was stopped at the end of Clarita Street, ready to turn left onto Inkster Road, and I saw something shocking in the front yard of the house across the road: the silhouette of an evil creature surrounded by a wooden frame.

“Whoa, what?” I said to myself as I began to turn, “It’s not Halloween anymore, why would someone have that in front of their house? Maybe they just forgot…”

As soon as I said ‘forgot’, my headlights caught a sparkle underneath the dark creature. I took a second look, and there they were: Mary and Joseph with the little Baby Jesus laying between them in the manger. It was a Nativity scene.

I immediately had to pull off the road and park in the neighborhood because I started crying like a baby. How could I not see that? How could I not see the brilliance that stood before me? What in the world is wrong with me?! Am I blind?!

In the dark, negative space and the positive space can be hard to discern. I have spent many many years of my life in the dark, which has caused my eyes to strain to see the light. It is easy to let the negative rule your life, and I have found negativity to be as contagious as the flu. But I do know one thing that is MORE contagious: Laughter.

It’s wild how much energy follows us around. And negative energy can pile up on us until we feel like Atlas trying to hold the world on our shoulders. It can bring us down, it can cause us pain; and in turn, we spread this pain to others. BUT there is hope.

It is important to remember: we cannot do this alone. We cannot stay in the dark on our own. We need to share and spread our light so others can help find their way if they are lost. Humans cannot see in the dark, we need the light [well, unless you’re Batman or have night-vision goggles].

Thank you to my mother, family, friends and of course Jesus, for helping me see the light. I promise to share it as much as I am able. I love you all, and Happy Birthday Jesus!

An excerpt from my personal journal

 

 

It doesn’t matter what you write about.

It won’t matter if you sound like Sylvia Plath or F. Scott Fitzgerald.

And it will NEVER matter if you use BIG words.

What matters is how you feel with the pen in your hand, carving out characters on the lines, letting your soul spill out onto the page in a splattered mess, and allowing it to align in a way that makes sense to you.

—

This page, this pen, this is what makes sense to me. This is what gives me hope. I can do this.

The rain is beautiful and the thunder thumps. I never wish away the rain; I always welcome it with open arms. A smile takes over my face every time the thunder roars. So intimidating, yet so harmless. Thunder never killed anyone, but then again, anything is possible.

—

I really don’t like to read the news. So much killing and torture. And it is so structured. When I read it, most of the time I don’t get very far. It’s not because I don’t give a shit, it’s because it is unreadable. I understand it is important to know what is going on, but most of the time it is too difficult to absorb all of it.

Just because I don’t enjoy reading the news, it does not mean I cannot do anything with a B.A. in journalism. I can contribute something meaningful to society.

I want to help people like me. People who have been through emotional turmoil and feel that there is nowhere else to turn. I want people like to to feel there is hope even if they are struggling.

I don’t know what type of career would allow me to do that. A motivational speaker? Or maybe a speech writer? Hopefully soon I will be able to figure that out.

The sun is out now. What a perfect day it must be for a plant.

Just keep growing. You will get there. Soon enough you’ll be in full bloom.